Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Starving Actor's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, July 21st, 2009
9:13 am	doings Been a busy couple of months. I labor under the financial burden of having no roommate and covering the whole rent by myself. It frustrates me that I'm not saving anything (and even seeing my savings dwindle as I have to dip into it), and that things I need I have to put off--transmission service for my car and new shoes to replace my worn-to-hell running shoes and work shoes come to mind the most quickly. The former of course will keep my car in good condition and prevent disastrous ill-timed breakdown, and the latter will be a relief to the joints of my lower body, plus make me more apt to go running on mornings when time allows. It would also be nice to have the cash for dates, too, but we do what we can. In the time between my last entry and now, I've been cast and been rehearsing and just completed two-thirds of the run for A Midsummer Night's Dream with Sonoma Repertory Theater, up in Sebastopol. This is my fourth time in this show, the second in the role of Lysander. Great production, good people, good crowds. One more weekend. I've been reaching Monday, the end of my work week, worn down after Thursday-through-Sunday evening performances and early weekend mornings. Yet I still get up early on Monday for my martial arts session, then go to work, followed by going into the city for parkour conditioning, followed by blues dancing. 'My weekend' of Tuesday and Wednesday come as an especial relief. Still, one more weekend of performances. Then I may go slightly stir-crazy with the newfound free time not being in a show will afford me. On an unrelated note, I now know I'm not allergic to bee stings. While barefoot on the grass during yesterday's training session, I felt something pierce my foot. Thinking I'd found a sticker, I had a look and saw there was a bee with her stinger stuck in me, wings buzzing. Clearly I had stepped on her. I yelped as the pain increased, flicked her off, and said, "I'm sorry, honey!" She didn't leave her stinger in me, so maybe she didn't die after the sting. The spot throbbed, telling me that she'd gotten some venom in me, but I take my lack of anaphylactic shock as a good sign. (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 17th, 2009
10:27 pm	everything moving at once Got some perspective on my current frustrating roommate search. I took a side trip through downtown San Rafael after work today, then came up Lincoln Avenue on my way home, which is not my usual route. I passed all the apartment buildings on that road and saw a great many For Rent signs out advertising. Seeing all the other listings on Craigslist and Facebook, added with the signs today, makes it clear that I'm not the only person trying to get another tenent. Must be partially the summer season. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 28th, 2009
11:07 pm	stairs The stair set from Monday's parkour conditioning session. I ran up this thing seven times (more staggering than running as I got near the top, granted, and walking the occasional landings), then did a reverse cat crawl one time. That is tough. Every landing was a breather, and as I got higher I had to rely on using my knees on the stairs to make it up. More than 24 hours later, now, and as yet there's been only minor soreness in the quads, calves, abs, and deltoids. Tomorrow could be when I start to lock up, though. (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009
9:30 pm	what's in the air? There's something... convergent about this weekend and the following week, I swear. I've got my usual complement of workdays and class and training, but there are a lot of additional things trying to cram themselves in there. Saturday I'm working, then attending a ball. Sunday I'm working, then helping move some furniture around. But I've also been receiving e-mails from people asking last-minute if I'm free to help with acting-related projects this weekend. Besides that, the coming week is so full of stuff I sat with my phone this morning and entered all the appointments so I could keep everything straight. Was it like this last year, coming up on May? I can't recall just now. Nice weather lights a fire under everyone, maybe. Or it's another period of transition. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
8:52 am	date Been seeing a girl. Very cute; she's got a smile and eyes to die for. Smart, nice, sweet. We've had a couple of dates, and both seem to be interested in continuing to see each other casually, no expectations. Hoping to see her again at Swing Goth next week, and she's doing me the honor of accompanying me to the Gaskell's ball next weekend. I wonder how this going slow thing will be. With my last girlfriend we just clicked and became a couple very quickly. Girls I've seen since then were very casual but fast. So this is actually a new thing. Have to try to maintain the 'nothing serious' intention in the interest of going slow. I'll have to see how it goes. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 7th, 2009
7:58 am	Truckin' out to Nevada for a couple of days. I think I'll enjoy the long drive; I don't often get to make them these days. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 26th, 2009
4:50 pm	a good dance is... ... doing a blues/swing combination to "Thriller," with iconic bits of choreography thrown in that make your follow laugh. (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 15th, 2009
10:21 pm	*jolt* It's alive. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, June 7th, 2007
11:25 am	Funny they should say that, given the name of Dustin's pretty little tabby. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 17th, 2007
7:10 am	'wake up!' and get a move on Judging from the last dream I had this morning, my subconscious is smarter than I give it credit for. Blerg. Moving day... Still a ton of stuff to do, and I'm not yet sure how my bed is going to get transported. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 30th, 2007
2:31 pm	converging This is my last full weekend at Marie's. My actual last day will be Easter. On Monday, I'm starting at Massage Envy and viewing an apartment in downtown San Rafael. On Tuesday, the van is going to be picked up and taken off my hands, leaving me to acquire a new vehicle with my settlement. I'm changing jobs, moving, and getting a new car all at once. That's a lot of simultaneous upheaval, but it's all starting to come together at last. It's nerve-wracking, but I need this. I'll be ready. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 12th, 2007
3:01 pm	you brought this on yourself, Willis... Today's "Shortpacked!", and one of the running jokes about Batman in the strip, conceived ( this thing: ) (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 10th, 2007
5:36 pm	drench The weather must be trying to make up for such a dry January, 'cause damned if it hasn't been rainy the last few days. I got good and chilled on Thursday from it and a walk to catch the shuttle. No more thinking I'll be okay without my coat for now. (Comment on this)
Friday, January 26th, 2007
3:21 pm	fashionable realization of the day Over the last couple of days I've noticed that camo seems to be big this winter. I see sweatshirts and beanies bearing the pattern frequently as I travel around. But today, I remembered that six or seven months ago, I was thinking that I might like a hat with an urban camouflage pattern (if I was more of a hardass, maybe pants). I may have made a comment about it to Elias or Bobby. And now, some time later, it's a popular trend. This isn't exactly the first time I've noticed occurances like this. Back in first grade or so, I wore the parachute pants before it took off with MC Hammer. The prospect of me, dressing as scubbish or simply as I tend to do, randomly predicting fashion trends six months down the line, is ridiculous. But it's not the first time, and it makes me wonder. (Comment on this)
Friday, January 12th, 2007
7:40 pm	"Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter." Energy massage was today. Very cool. My partner found the experience of receiving hard to articulate. Giving was very meditative, with me trying to stay alert to the tingle, the pulse, the heat, and the sudden and strong twitches in her body. Receiving, I may have been asleep for part of it, or down quite deep. I felt the energy/tingle at my hairline and crown of my head often, felt myself twitch occasionally. Part of what makes me think I might have been asleep is the 'dreams' I had about work. I don't recall specifics, but I knew I was experiencing thoughts, images, and emotions connected to my workplace. Can't say for sure if that was the strongest experience of my own chi I've ever had; part of me thinks that may have been during Tai Chi or a meditation. So there's a lot I don't know, but one thing I do know is that it was a very relaxing experience of 40 minutes. The subject line is a quote from Yoda, in reference to today's work and the fact that when you really get down to it, energy is all we are. New Year is here. I didn't stay up to ring it in, though; I just rented Miami Vice and hit the sack by 10:30. Annual dose of black-eyed peas was delayed a few days, but so was the rest of the holidays. Cold and windy the last few days. I heard the forecast low for Antioch tonight is 22ºF. Ugh, an actual freezing temperature, just what I haven't missed. Sunrise is starting to come earlier, though. Its rays were stronger on the bus this morning than yesterday. Still getting up at the butt-crack of dawn, but graduation is coming in a little over a month. And then? The search for a job and a place. (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 21st, 2006
8:14 pm	bring on the transitions Winter solstice is tomorrow. I'm eager for the days to start getting longer. Also been feeling a little trapped lately, anxious to graduate in February, get a job in massage, and relocate. Family's a funny thing. Derek arrived from Arizona at about 5 this morning, and today I drove Dustin down to Buttonwillow to meet Dad so he can spend Christmas in Arizona. The catch-up with both the men in my family I don't see regularly came easy today, and felt good. Powerful Presentation is done. Things have been moving with my externship, I have a bunch of appointments tomorrow. Some worries are reduced; I will make that Letter of Honors. MFT eval doesn't scare me, and needing to practice will give me an excuse to visit Sannah and Jaime. Got my hair cut. Probably could've been left longer, but I think it'll be okay. The Boss wants it long for Twelfth Night this summer, but I can grow a lot of hair in seven to eight months. I accepted the role of Sebastian, and Jaime's down for Viola. We're believable as twin siblings, both tall and slim, brown hair, brown eyes, dark eyebrows. Said Sannah, "You'll both get to flirt with Tylynn." We're also promised the chance to play with swords--not sticks, swords. Yes! Between work and externship hours this will be a busy holiday, but I feel better about it after today. I will also be able to get some relaxation. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 1st, 2006
9:47 am	"Weird! That's the first time a naked man has ever turned up to raid the buffet." When I read Sandman, I often wonder how many of the images come from dreams Neil Gaimen has had. I also tend to have odd dreams myself. Work has been pretty good to me the last couple of days. Again, this is welcome, because the van's got a tire with a crack in the sidewall. (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 16th, 2006
10:08 pm	watch yourself My friend Francesca is getting into acting, and I need to be careful of myself. I've had what may be the best experiences of my life in theater, and been really lucky with ensembles, teachers, and directors that inspire, teach, stretch, and look out for me. I've learned a lot, and some have said that I've grown a lot, for which I'm grateful. And now Fran is just starting out, I remember being back there, and the things that have served me in my theater experiences... But I have to hold back the unsolicited advice. I feel I'm holding a good intention, wanting her to succeed and learn quickly, but we all know what the road to hell is paved with. A lesson for life I've taken from NHI: I must, must honor her process. It is hers, not mine. There is only one way my ongoing transformation could have fallen out: the way it has, is, and will. It's the same for Fran. We take the wisdom in when we're ready and when the time is right, whether it's a sublime moment of a lesson being handed down and instantly assimilating, or when the lesson has been coming down for a long time like a drum beat, and we just don't get it until we get it. My knowledge is here, but I have to keep it to myself until asked. And even when asked, I have to be mindful and specific, and remember my own teachers' stories of when the long-beaten lesson clicks, but must be laid down steady, without frustration at the student. So whatever the process is, Fran, what's important is that it's yours. You have my support, and I will try not to bombard you with something you don't ask for. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 19th, 2006
11:11 pm	weird thing of the day While taking the ramp from 580 East to 101 South this morning on the way into rehearsal, I saw, heading west on 580, a semi with a lowboy trailer. This is not so unusual. But the lowboy's cargo was something else: a small track-hoe, not a lot bigger than bobcat versions I've seen, painted blue and purple, rounded corners on its body. I wanted to know if a circus owned the thing. Today was very disappointing at work; my tips were 11.5%. Where did the stinginess come from? I feel I gave good service, but I walked with $54 instead of $70, which I really could have used. And this was the only day I'm working this week with opening coming up. My table should be here early this week, and I could really use a client or two to keep my head above the water. Say a server averages $2,000 a week in sales. 15% (proper tip percentage) of that is $300, and 10% is $200. Obviously there's a difference of a Mr. Franklin, but over a month that makes a $400 difference to a server's income if he's not tipped properly. That's debilitating. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 7th, 2006
7:00 am	Roller-jousting, among other things, featured in my dreams early this morning. "Get my lance; I'm gonna end up on my ass, aren't I?" (Comment on this)